


The Console War

by Bloodedbeat



Category: South Park
Genre: /what if one side actually won the war, Angst, Bits of angst, Black Friday, Black Friday but my own kind of version, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Romance, and everyone didn't solve it peacefully?, not much like if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 10:24:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11530269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bloodedbeat/pseuds/Bloodedbeat
Summary: Kyle never realized that his best friend preferred PS4's over Xbox Ones.





	The Console War

**Author's Note:**

> Hello~ I haven't posted a recent story in a while, so! Here I am. I hope you enjoy this, I worked pretty hard on it. 
> 
> I accidentally deleted half of it and had to redo that half. Thankfully I made it much better! 
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments! I want to see your feedback! :)

Kyle didn't pay too much attention at first. 

When Cartman first suggested the idea of grouping together in order to be the first 30 people into the store on Black Friday, he begrudgingly agreed. 

After all, who wouldn't want to get the next best gaming system for less? It was one of the few genius ideas Cartman spewed out his ass. 

He didn't notice Stan fidgeting next to him, like he was regretting his decision to agree. 

He didn't notice how, when they all trained for the war, Stan didn't put as much effort into it, slowly falling behind. He was lacking in effort, so to speak. 

And Kyle never realized. He thought he and Stan were fighting toward the same goal, but Stan didn't think the same. 

"Stan, dude, are you okay?" Kyle asks him one day, finding him sitting outside of Cartman's glass doors on the concrete steps, on a day with an inconvenient snowstorm. 

His best friend had snow piled on top of his helmet, snow also resting on his shoulders and legs. Small flakes were speckled around on his shirt, his body racking with shivers every once in awhile. 

"I'm fine, Kyle," the boy chatters out through clanking teeth. There's a long pause, Stan taking a moment to compose himself. "I was just thinking." 

Kyle sits next to his friend, allowing the snowy air to whip his loose clothes around. "About what?" 

Stan lifts his gaze, his eyes locking with his best friends. His eyelashes were practically white from the snow that, somehow, managed to land there. 

"Y'know, why Cartman is really doing this war," Stan whispers, a white puff of air escaping his mouth. "Do you really think he's doing this for all of us or just himself?" 

Kyle stays silent for a long time, trying to process the words. The other boy made a good point, he realizes. "He might be doing it for himself," he moves closer to the other, the coldness making him want some form of body heat. He smiles when Stan lifts his cape and covers the both of them. "And if he does betray us, I'll shove his Xbox one up his fatass." 

His smile grows wider when Stan lets out a chuckle, then another, his shoulders shaking with laughter. 

He leans closer to his friend, laying his head down on his shoulder. His eyes lock with his, a huge grin on his face. "You kill me, dude." 

Everything was ok. 

Until it wasn't. 

 

"We're getting Xbox ones?" Craig asks disbelievingly, his nasally voice coming out in confusion and a bit of annoyance. 

"Y-yeah man, I thought we were getting PS4's! D-did I miss something?! GAH! I missed something didn't I?!" Tweek grasps his hair, pulling it roughly. 

Tweek's hands drop back to his sides when Craig puts his hands on his, pulling them down gently until the blond got the memo. Throughout all of this, Craig's eyes are still trained on the Xbox one side. 

"You didn't miss anything, Tweek. Cartman didn't inform us that Xbox one was what we were fighting for." Craig bites out, looking even more annoyed than he did before. 

"Shut the fuck up, Craig. Everyone else was aware that we were going for Xbox Ones, not your sissy Play Station 4's." Cartman bites out even more venomously, slamming his hands down on the table he was sitting at. 

"W-w-w-w--ee-wee-we were going to get Xbox O-ones?" Jimmy stutters out, looking just as confused as Craig did moments ago. 

"Are you Fucking serious?" Cartman lays his face in his hands, obviously fed up with the conversation already. "Is there anyone else who wasn't aware of what we were fighting for in the fucking first place? By next best gaming systems I obviously meant Xbox Ones!" 

No one says anything, but that doesn't stop Craig and Tweek. 

"Anyone else that wants PlayStation 4's, join our side." He announces, waving his hand to signal that by 'our' side he meant his and Tweek's. "Afterall, them not telling us what gaming system we were going to get.. That's how Xbox people are."

A good ten kids left the Xbox One side, including Jimmy. 

Kyle didn't care much at first. After all, they still had more people. Still had better plans than Craig. 

But, when he noticed Stan fidgeting next to him, he got a little worried. 

He was, of course, going to ask his friend what was wrong, before the other took a step forward. Then another, and another. 

"Stan, w-what are you doing? You're getting an Xbox one, right?" 

Stan pauses in his steps, looking at Kyle with sad eyes. "I like the PS4 controller better." 

Kyle's eyes widen, before they narrow. "Stan, the PS4 doesn't have the seamless transition between games, movies, and TV offered by XBox One." 

Stan's eyes well up with tears. "The PS4 has a touchpad interface. You never listened. I told you I thought the PS4 was better, but you never wanted to listen to me, Kyle. You just had your head so set because..." Stan's eyes furrow, anger laced in his eyes. "Because that's how XBox people are." 

"Awkward," Craig mutters to Tweek, who nods in agreement at his comment. 

"I guess I'll see you on Black Friday, then." The ginger says, though his voice barely contains any emotion.  

"Yeah. See you then." Stan's voice held no defeat, only some pride. 

"Lets go." Craig mutters out. 

"Y-Yeah, lets go." Tweek agrees, both walking away, their new group following. 

 

Craig, Princess Kenny, and Stan all sat at the planning table in the tent, discussing their plans for getting in as the first 100 people. 

"It shouldn't be as hard as it was before," Stan explains, pointing at the town map, his index on the mall. "The amount of people that were able to get things off were 30, now it's 100. Plus, they bumped the off price to 95%." 

Kenny and Craig nod in agreement. 

"That is true," Craig speaks up, taking out a pen, circling Cartman's house. "But it's also true that the Xbox army is growing stronger and bigger, whilst we still have a small amount of people on our side." His pen taps loudly against the paper. 

"So what you're saying is that.. we need to recruit more people to help us in the war." Stan finished 

"Yeah." With that, the decision was final.

Craig and Stan left the tent, while Stan held his sword up high. 

"Let us head forward in search for new recruits! We will win this war!" A chorus of 'Yeah!' filled the snowy area.  

"But wait," Jason speaks up, stopping everyone in their tracks. "Who will we recruit?" 

"Y-yeah, who would want to be a part of our team?" Tweek agrees, rubbing his arm awkwardly. 

"They make a good point," Craig turns to Stan, his eyes holding a strange spark in them. "Many have already gone to Xboxes side. Few would join ours, so we must choose wisely." 

"Stan, Craig, and Princess Kenny are oddly really good at this," Jason whispers to Jimmy, who nods in full agreement. 

Stan is silent for a long moment, searching Craig's eyes. "The goth kids." He eventually says, his eyes darting to the Princesses for confirmation. 

"That would be a wise decision." The princess speaks up, her voice muffled as it always was. 

"Thank you, Princess." Stan bows, before turning to their little army once more. 

"Me, Craig, and Jimmy will try to recruit the goth kids." He points his sword at Tweek, who flinches immediately. Feeling the angry eyes that belong to Craig bore into the side of his head because of that, he falters, letting his sword hang loosely by his side. "Tweek, Jason, and the rest of you shall search for anyone else who will help us in this time. Let PS4's win this war!" 

A new and more enthused chorus of 'Yeah!' Rings through Kenny's backyard, as every warrior heads toward their destinations. 

It took a good 15 minutes of negotiation, before the goth kids finally agreed. Not without complaining, of course. 

Stan set his course back to the princesses backyard, a swelling of hope that more had joined his army. 

His steps ceased when he saw someone who was all to familiar. 

"Kyle?"   
"Stan?" 

Both stared at each other in disbelief, having not seen each other in three days. 

"What are you doing here?" Kyle asks, crossing his arms. 

Craig shuffles his feet behind him, obviously not wanting to be a part of their quarrel. 

"We went to extend our army." He says with confidence, waving his hand between Craig, Jimmy, and him. 

"Oh yeah?!" Kyle's left eye twitches with barely contained annoyance. "Come with me Stan!" 

"H-huh?" Stan's act as a soldier falters, eyeing up his best friend with confusion. "What-why?" 

Craig glances at Jimmy, who shrugs in response. 

"While you two go suck face, we'll bring the new recruits back to the base." Craig informs, a cheeky grin on his face. 

Both boys faces erupt into red, both simultaneously yelling, "SHUT UP CRAIG!" 

Craig erupts into laughter, waving for the people behind him to follow. 

"Kyle, what's up?" Stan asks seriously, his need to be a friend bigger than that of being on opposite sides of the war. 

"Stan, I-!" Kyle abruptly stops not even half way into his sentence, his cheeks puffed out in annoyance. "Stan, I really want you to join my side." 

Stan didn't agree with this at all, but decided to continue speaking with the ginger. "I'm sorry, Kyle. But I don't want an Xbox One." He explains, trying to solve this in the most peaceful way possible. 

"Stan, if you don't get an Xbox One, we can't play together." Kyle pleads, giving him his best puppy dog eyes. 

Stan falters slightly at this, frowning at the ginger. He decides the best thing to do is turn around. "I'm sorry, Kyle." Is all he can say, before he begins to walk. 

"Damnit..!" He hears the Jew mutter. 

In a second, his back hits the ground. He's startled slightly, seeing as this came out of nowhere, before he feels comforting arms wrapped around him. 

He opens his eyes, finding his best friend draped over him, his face shoved in the crook of his neck. 

Hesitantly, he lifts his arms to wrap around the other. "Kyle..?"

"I know this won't change your mind, but.." the gingers voice whispers out, his arms squeezing the raven harder. 

Stan's hand moves up and down Kyle's back, the other moving up to grab Kyle's spare hand. 

His back was starting to get cold from the snowy sidewalk, but Kyle's warm body on top of his made it seem like a bruise you could easily ignore. 

"Kyle," he breaths out, gently lifting the other off of him. Though his body screamed for the body heat, he knew he couldn't stay here with him. "I'll see you on Black Friday." 

Kyle seems crestfallen, something he unhappily notes, though he can do nothing about. 

He bumps his head against Kyle's chest. "'M sorry, Kyle." He repeats to his friend again, listening as the Jews heartbeat grows faster. 

"It's-It's okay Stan, just- lets go back to our bases, okay?" 

Stan chuckles lightly, "Yeah, lets go. Our position is going to look pretty inappropriate if someone walks by." 

Kyle's face dusts with blush as he scrambles to get off of Stan. 

Stan waves to the other, before turning heel to return to the base. 

 

"Where have you been?" Craig asks, his eyes holding his usual complete disinterest. He was sitting on a wool blanket that was delicately strewn across the snowy grass. He sat with Tweek, who was playing Black Jack with him. 

"None of your business." He responds, which rewards him Craig's signature middle finger. 

"B-black Jack!" Tweek cheers, slamming his cards down on the blanket. 

Stan watches as Craig's attention immediately turns to Tweek. 

"Fuck." Craig mutters out in defeat, which earns him a giggle from Tweek. 

Stan's eyes widen slightly when he sees Craig blush, turning his head to the side to hide it. 

"Woah dude," he can't help but say, a mocking grin on his face. "That's pretty gay." 

Craig's head whips around so fast it startles Stan more than Tweek, who jumped slightly in surprise. 

Craig whips Stan the finger, saying rather venomously, "Bite me!"

Stan can't help but laugh, turning his back to set course to the princess. 

As he walked to her throne, he passed more and more people who joined the Play Station 4 side to assist in the war. 

He passed a good 20 people, which gave him a better feeling in his heart. 

"M'lady." He bows in front of the princess, which earns him a genuine laugh from Kenny. 

Stan grins as Kenny composes himself, clearing his throat. 

"No need for such fancy greeting," the princess speaks up, her soft voice muffled through her parka. 

"Sorry, Princess." Stan apologizes, standing straight and confidently in front of her. 

"Progress report?" She asks, tapping her silky gloved hands on the arm of the throne. 

"We have recruited the goths and several other children to join our army. We should have a good thirty soldiers on our side now, better than the small ten that we had hours ago." Stan's responds, his voice prideful. 

The princess nods, her eyes sparkling in barely contained joy. "That is wonderful soldier!" She exclaims, clasping her gloved fingers together. 

She stands, waving her hand to catch everyone's attention. 

Everyone drops everything to to hear the words of the princess. 

 

At Cartman's house, something quite similar was happening. 

"Cartman, what is it that you suggest we do?" Kyle asks him rather impatiently, his arm thrown lazily over the back of the chair. 

"Well, since that traitor fucking Kenny went to the PS4 side, we no longer have a second in command princess. Kenny is a fuckin' dude not a chick, stupid asshole." Cartman's mutters out, his fingers tapping on the metal table in an impatient rhythm. 

"What's that have ta' do with anything?" Butters small voice speaks up, fidgeting in his seat. 

"It has to do with everything!" Cartman chews out, slamming his hands on the table, which makes everyone but Kyle flinch in their seat. "He was supposed to fight on our side, but that stupid poor retard decided that PS4 was better!" 

"Shut up." Kyle's voice from across the table filters through the uncomfortable air. "What. Are. We. Supposed. To. Do, Cartman?" 

"I already have everything planned out Kyle." Cartman assures, pulling out a large town map and other papers from god knows where. 

He delicately places everything down, taking a sharpie out of his pocket. 

"This is where the Princess and her shitty army is located." He circles Kenny's home with the marker, circling it again toward the back of his house. "One of our spies found out that they spend most their time in the backyard, considering no one likes being in a poor kids fag house." 

That comment earns him a glare from Kyle and Butters, but the Wizard doesn't waver. 

"We are located here," he circles his house, "And the mall is located here." Another circle. 

"Why does it matter where we are located?" A soldier pipes up, staring up at the Grand Wizard in confusion. 

"It matters a lot, soldier." Cartman insists. "The house closest to the mall is Kenny's house." 

Everyone nods. 

"We can't stand in line waiting forever to get inside that mall. So, if Kenny comes up with a good idea, his team could easily get a head start, considering his base is closer to the Mall." Cartman finishes, capping the marker. 

He tosses it to Kyle, who catches it with no problem. "I'm sure you have a plan, Kyle." Cartman nods toward him. 

Kyle is still for a moment, staring at the marker with uncertainty, before standing. He circles a part of the mall, writing on a sticky note next to it 'Plan A'. 

"If we want to get in that mall easy peasy, then we need to go through Red Robin." He explains, capping the marker before lazily tossing it to Cartman, who struggles to catch it and almost drops it. 

"W-why, that's a pretty darn good idea Kyle!" Butters cheers, nodding in understanding. 

"Explain more Jew." Kyle glares at him for that comment, but does just that. "If we get in through the Red Robin, we can be the first people in. Of course, we have to schedule a party. We just have to pretend it's guest is someone important." 

"What if the PS4 side thought of the same plan?" Another soldier speaks up. 

Kyle smiles lightly. "That's why we have Plan B." He takes out a piece of paper, one that was already planned. His smile turned sly. 

"Good job, Kyle." Cartman says, crossing his arms. 

"We will schedule a meeting with Princess Kenny tonight." Cartman says, taking out his flip phone. "We will also do plan B right away if we find out if the PS4 side has thought of the same plan." 

"Kyle?"   
"Yeah?"   
"How about plan C." A statement less than a question. 

"We pretend that we admit defeat, and get on their good side, before we betray everyone and lock them in Red Robin, where they can not get out." Kyle says, smirking all the while. 

Cartman smiles a rather wicked smile. "You are quite evil, Kyle. I like it." 

"Whatever, fatass." 

"Hey!" 

 

"What's wrong, princess?" Stan stood at the princess's side as she spoke on the phone. He could tell she was unhappy, as her lips were curled down in a frown. She let her hood down to speak, but still seemed incredibly unhappy. 

He startles slightly when Kenny snaps his old phone shut, slamming his hand down on the arm of his thrown. 

"Kenny..?" He asks cautiously, not knowing his reasoning for being this angry. "What's wrong?" 

"It's nothing just- Cartman's an asshole." His hand opens, his phone sliding off his silky glove. It hits the concrete with a soft clack. 

Grabbing both of his friends hands, he stands in front of him with a confident grin. Kenny looks confused and slightly surprised, but doesn't push his hands away. 

"Don't worry, Kenny! Cartman is just a fat turd, don't take anything he says to heart." 

Kenny is silent for a moment, before a grin breaks over his face. He squeezes his hands, tilting his head slightly. "You're right! Thanks, Stan." 

"It's no problem," he removes his hands, though continues to stand in front of his friend. "What did he want though, princess?" 

Kenny slips back into character in no time. "He wants us to join forces. We all get in at the same time, but some people get a different device." 

Before Stan could speak up, a nasally voice speaks up, causing them both to jump. "It's a trap." 

Stan moves to look at Craig, who has his right hand resting on his hip. 

"You think so?" He asks. 

"Nope." His nasally voice dropped with sarcasm, his eyes narrowing slightly. His eyes held a certain spark. 

"You seem like you have a plan, soldier." Kenny speaks up, moving her head to look at the ravenette. 

That causes the Raven to smirk. "You're right. We do." He waves at the both of them to follow, heading in the direction of Kenny's house, causing the former to get incredibly confused. 

He stops in front of the back door, turning to the two. "We planned stuff inside so no one could spy on us." 

"That's.. actually really smart." Stan compliments, slightly surprised. 

A rare smile curls onto Craig's face, though it disappears as quickly as it was there. 

He opens the door, allowing the two to follow him. On the floor were Tweek and Jimmy, with Sharpies in their hands and a giant sheet of paper sitting in front of them. They were sitting parallel to each other. 

"We made a plan just in case they decided they were going to do something that required us teaming together." Craig explains, kneeling next to Jimmy. Gesturing to the papers in front of him. 

All Stan and Kenny could do was smile. 

 

"Are we teaming up or not?" Cartman asks impatiently, tapping his foot to show it. 

The Xbox One army was gathered at one part of Kenny's backyard, while the PlayStation 4 army was on the other side. 

The princess was silent for a moment, before she spoke up. Her voice held elegance and grace. 

"We will not be teaming up with you." Her eyes held no interest towards the wizard in front of her, who looks enraged at her response. 

"Are you kidding?!" He seemed like he was about to flip out, before Kyle shoved past him. "Shut up you fat asshole." 

"SHUT UP JEW!!" 

Heeding him no mind, Kyle stands in the middle of the crowd. "Stan, get down here." 

"..What?" He responds dumbly, staring at his best friend with confusion. 

"Join our side! Do you really want to be in an army with Craig of all people?" 

Everyone's gaze immediately turns to Craig after that, who looks back with little to no hesitation. "PlayStation 4's are better anyways." 

"S-seriously? Don't say that in front of them-ACK! They might k-kill us!" Tweek has his hand on the ravens sleeve, tugging it with no purpose in mind, more out of fear and comfort. 

Craig locks eyes with the blond, but doesn't look annoyed. Everyone stares at him incredulously as he smiles warmly at the other. "They're not going to kill us. Cartman might, but he's just a fatass." 

"Hey!!" 

This seems to calm him down though, his twitching ceasing slightly, his hold on Craig's sleeve loosening a bit. He doesn't remove his hand, though. 

No one pays them any mind when the princess stands. 

"We will win this war!" Her voice holds confidence and tranquillity. Her fist is high in the air, it itself seemingly holding pride. 

"And we will win it alone." 

The PS4 side erupts into cheers, showing how truthful they know she is being. 

They will win this war. They will prove Play station 4's are better! 

 

"Craig, are you sure this is a good idea?" Stan questions skeptically, hesitantly looking down the side of the mall. The ground was quite far away, making him scramble backwards as to not fall. 

Craig seems amused by his antics, if the slight glint in his eyes spoke anything, but he didn't show it in words. "Trust me." 

Jimmy and Tweek nod in his peripheral vision, making him sigh in response. He supposes he could. 

"Okay, soldier. Make it quick, though. The mall will open soon." 

"How soon?" Craig asks distractedly, watching as one of the goth kids cut a big hole in the ceiling slowly. 

"Uh.. five minutes at most." Stan tilts his head in slight confusion. "Why?" 

"No reason." The boys unamused voice responds, taking the flame thing out of Petes hand. 

"What is that?" He asks in curiosity as Craig cuts the whole bigger faster than Pete did. A few more seconds and it would fall. 

"S'nothing important." The part of the ceiling falls, before its caught by Tweek, Jimmy, Craig, and Stan. The princess watches from the side as they carefully put it to the left of everyone. 

"Lets go, soldiers." 

Craig jumps down first, landing safely on his two feet. The clerks men seems to be distracted enough not to notice. 

Jimmy comes next, who is caught by Craig so he doesn't hurt himself. Next, he catches Tweek, who he holds a second too long. Everyone else jumps down on their own. 

"Seriously," Stan's eyes narrow. "What's up with you and Tweek?" 

The ravenette doesn't seem fazed by this question, looking at him from the corner of his eyes. "We have a mission to carry through. Don't ask me stupid questions." He brushes past him, heading in the direction of the PS4's. Everyone follows. 

Everyone could tell that the Mall opened when you could practically hear the roars of the costumers that had gotten inside. It was scary to some of the kids, but others were unfazed. Weirder things have happened in South Park. 

"You kids.." the clerks men speaks up, his eyebrows raised in surprise. "You're the first 100 in. Congratulations." The man seems to call someone on the phone. After a few moments, a loud announcement goes over the malls speakers to announce the first 100 hundred have gotten their things 95%. 

Everyone glances at each other with satisfied grins. They won. 

Stan and Kenny double high fived, while everyone else mostly hugged. 

They truly won the war. 

"W-we did it!" Tweek says cheerily, the PS4 box clutched tightly in his hands. His receipt was stuffed messily under his arm pit. 

"We did." Craig confirms, nodding his head. 

They both smile at one another, both happy with how everything turned out. 

 

The PS4 army did defeat the Xbox one side all on their own, because of Craig, Tweek, and Jimmy's amazing plan. 

Their plan was to go through the malls roof, directly over the store that they wanted into. Thankfully it was on the top floor. 

They weren't one hundred percent sure it would work, of course if it didn't they had a plan b, but it did. They got through, and the Clerks men gave them their tickets as evidence to prove they were the first one hundred to enter the store. 

When Cartman found out he lost, even though he felt like he had a good plan himself, he was steaming. More like absolutely livid. He didn't talk to any of his friends or soldiers for MONTHS after. 

When Kenny found out his army won, he was ecstatic! He was proud of his army and himself. Plus, he got a PS4 AND a couple of games. He won't be bored for months! 

Everyone was curious as to what Tweek and Craig's relationship was after the whole war against consoles, and soon found out they had feelings for each other months before. They got together 2 months later thanks to the Asian girls. Of course, the whole town went wild because of it. They thought they were absolutely cute. Their friends couldn't help but be happy for them. 

Stan apologized to Kyle immediately after everything was over, not wanting to spoil their friendship over a stupid war. Kyle didn't accept his apology at first, still quite angry about the whole situation, but got over it a week or two later. 

They never spoke of their 'not exactly friendship' hug at the beginning of the war, but both were highly aware of it. 

Oh.. but that changed over time, too. 

"It all worked out in the end, didn't it?" Stan asked, as he was sitting on the Park bench right next to the ginger. The sun was setting, making the sky swirl together in a nice red and blue, making it a light purple. 

Kyle was next to him, slowly eating a chocolate chip cookie from a takeout place near by. "I suppose it did. Though, I still think you should've joined my side." He averts his gaze to the side. 

Stan laughs lightly, reaching out to clasp his free hand together with Kyle's. "Yeah, but.. if I did, we might not have ended up where we are now." 

Kyle looks down at their intertwined hands, a small smile breaking over his face. "Y-yeah, I suppose we wouldn't have. I'm glad you accepted my feelings for you, and returned them as well." 

"I'm glad you eventually told me your feelings. I mean- I waited a really long time you know." Stan says, smirking all the while. 

"H-huh?! What do you mean-" 

Laughter erupts from Stan, and he can't help but realize how lucky he is. 

He may have won the war, and got a PS4 in turn, but in the end.. he got something even better. Something he cherishes much more. 

For once, everything was fine.


End file.
